Thursday, July 8, 2010

Now What? WARNING: Cliche-Infested Post Ahead!

First of all, I'M BACK!!! I needed a short break, and I appreciate you not abandoning me in the meantime. Really. Chocolate for everyone.

Second, WARNING: CLICHE-INFESTED POST AHEAD!

Even though it's frowned upon in the writing world, I love writing cliches (I also love cliches that are about writing!). "They" say it's lazy and unimaginative, but what the hell do "they" know? Here are a few of my favorites on the topic of writing:
  • It's time to turn the page on this chapter of your life.
  • I'm glad we're all on the same page.
  • Thank God for happy endings. (Or, wait, maybe that's not a reference to writing at all!)
I bring this up because I am, in fact, turning the page on this chapter of my life. My marriage is heading towards the history books, and I will soon be closing the final chapter on a relationship I thought would last until death did us part.

So, now what?

Now it's time to move forward, blaze a new path, set myself free, dream a new dream, start a new life, insert your favorite cliche here. I've cried rivers of tears over the past few years, felt sorry for myself to the point where even I couldn't stand being around me, and wished upon wish that things were different - that they'd go back to the way things were, to the life I thought I'd continue to live.

However, as I posted a couple of weeks ago, it's smarter and healthier to eat from the tree of possibility and acceptance; to move forward and embrace "what is."

So, I am doing my best to follow my own advice. On that note, I'm considering a move to the shore - a dream I've had since I was a kid - preferably New Jersey, Maryland, or Virginia . (They say VA is for lovers. I believe thorough research is warranted). I'm not a huge fan of incredible heat, so I don't think I want to venture further south (ironic, given we're in the middle of 100+ degree temps in the Northeast right now!). If any of you have suggestions for great shore towns that are affordable and fun, please let me know, either in the comments or via email at dlschubert@verizon.net.

IN OTHER NEWS...
I've sent Draft #5 to Awesome Agent (cue loud cheering and party music). Now, once again, I wait. Normally, I'd be writing, but this time while I'm waiting, I'm researching beach towns. Though, my life has taken an unexpected turn, I can sure as hell create a life I will love with all my heart and soul. A life that includes writing, great music, being inspired by the sea, new friends, and always, great family.

Good to see y'all again, and thanks for wading through the cliche-laden swamp that is this post. I'd love to hear about the new chapters you're writing in your own lives.

55 comments:

Candyland said...

Wow. You're a brave woman and I really admire your strength. After my first marriage ended, I moved to another state and it was freeing. I wish you nothing but the best in love,life and writing.

Plus we share a friend in @editorStet so you've got to be amazing if you're in her company:)

Tere Kirkland said...

A move to the shore? You deserve it! Thanks for sharing what's going on in your life and good luck with that draft.

I just sent in a revision to an awesome agent (not mine, but maybe someday), and I'm working on a new project, which is awesome.

I would move to the seashore "in a heartbeat" if I had the opportunity, so go and "make your wildest dreams come true"! ;)

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Candyland, Thanks for your kind words. And, yes, @editorstet rocks it big time! She used to be in business w/my agent, and they're still great friends. I had the pleasure of meeting her in May - she's patently amazing.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Tere, "Go and "make your wildest dreams come true"! Thank you so much for this, and best of luck w/your agent search.

Kristie Cook said...

You are strong, woman! I'm sorry for all your heartbreaks and distress, but it sounds like you are ready to move forward. I grew up in the DC area and always wanted to live in Ocean City or, perhaps, Rehobeth Beach. Virginia Beach is neat but Chincoteague Island is very cool. And there are lots of places in the Carolinas that aren't too hot.

I personally love where I am now - SW Florida. It rarely gets over 95 in the summer and usually stays in the 70s in the winter (although last winter we had a streak of hard freezes :-P).

Best wishes to you as you turn this page and start writing a new chapter of your life!

Cheri Lasota said...

You're awesome, Deb. Ah, a life by the sea...the only thing I ever really wanted. You should go for it. Maybe take a road trip down the coast and see what towns find you. *hug*

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Kristie, My son just got back from vacation w/his friend in Chincoteague and LOVED it! I may have to check that out. It's so hard to pinpoint one place, when there are so many wonderful ones to choose from...!

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Cheri, I love your idea of taking a road trip down the coast to see what towns find me! Brilliant. Are you free anytime soon??? ;-))

Ruthanne Reid said...

First of all: HA! Perfect post image. made me laugh.

Second of all, those "cliches" exist... because they work. Overused, yes - untrue? Not in the slightest.

You do whatever you need to to soar (which, given that you are happily an adult, I can say without fear that means shaving your head and moving to Australia to join the Hari Krishnas or something).

He's gonna look back and regret this. And if he doesn't? Then... well. He's really not the person you married. We may never know why a person changes like that - but there ARE good people out there, and you absolutely deserve to be with someone worthwhile.

Lisa Gail Green said...

Wow, well congratulations on your new found freedom (that's the image that one picture gives so well). I'm a west coast girl myself, but I can appreciate wanting New England. Oh and here's to hoping 5 is the lucky number!

Sage Ravenwood said...

Hey you, glad to see you back on the interwebs. I'm sorry to hear things have been so rough lately. Just know your in my thoughts and I think you're an incredible woman.

As for shore country, there's always Maine. Your favorite writer Stephen King's territory. (Hugs)Indigo

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Ruthanne, Thanks for always being there for me. I can't wait to meet in person one of these days...

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Indigo, It's so great to see you, as well! I LOVE Maine, in fact, Ogunquit is one of my absolute favorite places. However, I'm not sure I'd love it so much in the winter. Stephen King's much less of a wimp than I am!

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Lisa, I lived in Huntington Beach for a while. Fan-freaking-tastic beaches out there! And, yes, here's hoping #5 is a winner!

Laurie Lazar said...

YES! Go to the water! Back to your roots, spending time with the ocean. I am VERY excited for your new path on this magnificent journey of life, Debra Lynn!

And you can always get out of the winter completely and come stay with me in Panama or where ever I land for the winter months.

Love you so,
Laurie

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

LB, You and I are so much alike - always drawn to the water. I love you more than words can say.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Mollie, Tx for the suggestions. I'll make sure your room is always ready and waiting.

Len said...

Debbie, we'd welcome you to the Garden State! Our favorite town there is Spring Lake. Beautiful beaches, less than 90 minutes from NYC (I hear there are a few writers there) and beautiful, unJerseyish architecture. Happy to take you there if you want to come visit!

Love,

Len

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Len, That looks like a gorgeous area, not far from Avon by the Sea that I love. A bit pricey, though. I'll let you know for sure if I decide to look around in that area. ;-)

Robin said...

I just moved from Yulee, FL, which is just north of Jacksonville. It is actually just crossing the state line from GA. Technically Amelia Island is living on the beach. I loved it. We are now back in GA and it is so much hotter here (even though the temps are technically the same). Even though we lived about 25 mi from the beach we still got the breeze. Of course, the closer inland you are, that would improve. I would love to move back if my doctors weren't here. My parents feel the same way!!! The added bonus is that the winters are awesome. No snow. You only have a few really cold days (and that is relative). I wouldn't move any further south in FL, though...TOO HOT.

As for the rest of your post...I know you'll get through it. Sounds to me like you've been grieving it for three years. You may already be through the worst. A change of scene is an excellent idea!

Anonymous said...

GIRL!!! I've been way out of the loop. Way way way lately. I'm so sorry I didn't know anything about your struggles, and I wish you the best of luck and life, and send you my prayers for your new journey.

I've been down that road twice myself, they say the third one's the charm! Well I don't know how charming it is, but it's sticking. LOL!

Personally, I've always wanted to go to the South Carolina shore. So many good books located there...have always made me want to go. Sullivan's Island.

Laura S. said...

I LOVE cliches!!! I use them in my blog all the time but that's it. Oh, fine, I lie. I use them in real life and my writing, heehee! But I do cut them during edits, so that's okay!

Good for you, Debra, for hitching your wagon to a star. Endless possibilities are open to you. :)

Avalon and Stone Harbor, NJ are my favorite! I don't know why those beaches have different names because it's pretty much all the same beach. I love it because there's no boardwalk; the shopping and food is on a charming street in Stone Harbor (96th, I think?). Needless to say, without a boardwalk, the beaches there are cleaner and more peaceful!

Good luck and have fun chasing new dreams!

June G said...

I tried to DM you, but somehow, you've disappeared from my list of followers. You have been on my mind. I noted I didn't see you tweeting as much and I wondered if something was wrong. Maybe your absence from Twitter has nothing to do with the end of the marriage, but when I saw your post on Writer Unboxed, it resonated with me that indeed something had been troubling you.

The end of a dream, a life goal is not easy. I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you, but I'm glad to hear you are doing your best to move forward and seeking good things ahead. The word of God says keep seeking the things above and don't look behind you. It sounds like you're on you way. My thoughts are with you as they have been. Only now, I know my instincts were right.

Nancy J. Parra said...

First of all, (((Hugs))) and hooray for new beginnings!

I would love to live by the sea. I live by a lake right now, of course, but no sandy shore. There is something about water and writers that mixes very well.

Best of luck in your search for a new home. Cheers~

Jeffe Kennedy said...

I always thought that if my life fell apart (um, not saying yours is...) that I would find a little place on the shore. It will be wonderful! Don't know what your budget is, but I have friends selling a beach house on Emerald Isle, NC for quite the deal right now...

Jemi Fraser said...

My heart and hopes go out to you Deb. I hope things are looking up and heading forward.

Shorelines and waterscapes are beautiful and heart-filling. We have lots and lots of beautiful places in Northern Ontario too :)

Good luck with everything. I'm so glad the book is getting closer and closer to becoming a reality!

Take care of yourself. *hugs*

Kimberly Franklin said...

I'm so happy that you're back!! But I'm really sorry that you've been going through a rough time. That's never good. You are in my thoughts and if you need chocolate just tell me. I'll send you a box full ASAP!

And I would suggest you move to Texas, but... it's really hot here! Way hot! And it's no fun. But in the winter, if we see even a flake of snow the whole world shuts down and we get to have free days with no work. So there's always that to consider. ;)

Laura Eno said...

Leave the heartbreak behind and soar! Best wishes to you wherever you go. :)

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Robin, Thanks so much for your kind words and perspective. You're right, I have been grieving on some level for three years already. I just need to create a new physical atmosphere for myself. All best to you. ;-)

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Sharla, I hope for you that the third time is definitely the charm!!! It's always nice to "see" you here. You're one of my original blog friends, and that will always mean a lot. Hugs to you.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Laura, Thanks for your recommendations to Avalon and Stone Harbor. I'll add them to my list! And I appreciate your support - it means a lot. ;-)

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

June, You are so special. You "get" my music, which in turn means you "get" me. I appreciate that more than you know. Your words mean so much. Like I put on my FB page, "When you're going through hell, keep going." That's a quote from Winston Churchill and it sums up how I'm feeling right now. I'm also blessed to have so many caring friends and family to support me through this difficult time. Thank you for being one of them.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Nancy, Hugs right back atcha! You're so right about writers and water - it's like writers and cats; a perfect match!

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Jeffe, Thanks for your words of encouragement. I emailed you, btw. ;-)

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Jemi, You are so special. I feel the love you send through your words. Thank you so much. *hugs*

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Kim, You're so funny. I love that you'd send me chocolate on a moment's notice - that's true friendship!

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Laura, Best advice ever. Thank you!!!

Jill said...

A move to the shore is a great idea, and I've done it myself, but on the Oregon coast. It sounds like you've already been through the grieving process (I hope), so I wish you all the best in the new future you create.

Mandy (The Well-Read Wife) said...

Reminds me of another cliched phrase that I love: Always follow your dreams!
So glad you are going to move to the shore! Just what you need after a rough year!

Karen Walker said...

Debra,
Sending you hugs and well wishes for this next chapter of your life. From what you write on this blog, you are a very strong, loving woman and you will be fine. But you already know this.
BLessings,
Karen

WendyCinNYC said...

I would move to Carmel, CA in about four seconds if I could. Or anywhere in that zip code up to Santa Cruz.

I, too, loved Huntington Beach back in my, ahem, wilder days.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Jill, A move to the shore is definitely in order - glad to hear it worked for you. ;-))

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Mandy, Thanks so much for your kind words and relevant cliche. ;-) Moving forward and not dwelling on the past is not always easy, but it is definitely the key to happiness.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Karen, You and your words are a blessing to me. Thank you.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Wendy, That's a beautiful area, but too many memories there for me. I need to find a place w/o ghosts of my past. ;-)

Kimberly Franklin said...

I'm serious. Chocolate can be mailed tomorrow. However, with this heat, it would probably not be in bar form by the time you got it. It would probably be good to use for a chocolate sundae, though. :)

Stacia Kelly said...

Well, we'd love to have you in VA! And could certainly help you research lovely beach places...I do have a friend selling land/house in Chincoteague Island...I could send her your way...plus, then we'd have even MORE of an excuse to visit :)

Congrats on draft 5! I'm working on draft 3 of Phyxe's story and loving it so much more this way. I can't wait to read your work!

You are definitely an inspiration to me :) So glad we connected AND so glad you're working on the upbeat and uplifting path.

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