Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Hidden in Plain Sight

Sometimes what (or in this case, who) you're looking for is hidden in plain sight.

Most of you know I am a writer, but you may not know I also have a small interior design business. As an interior designer, I have a theory: often times you have what you need. It might be a lamp, a small table, a vase, or a chair, but whatever it is, you often already possess it. Look around. You might not see it at first, because it's being used in another capacity or in a room with different decor. However, many times, what you need is already there. All it takes to find it is your imagination and the ability to see things in a new light.

This is what I've done, except not with a lamp or a vase or a chair. It's what I've done with my life partner. 

As some of you know, I was in a relationship with SG (Special Guy) who I met less than six weeks after my ex left. When we met, I was an emotional disaster. SG was wonderful and made me feel special. He held me as I cried rivers of tears and told me everything would be alright. "These things take time," he said. He knew from experience. He'd been through it himself. His kind words and gentle touches helped heal a small part of the painful hole in my heart. 

But, two months ago, I broke up with SG. I realized I needed to be on my own, date other guys, and spread my wings. I'd never lived alone and never dated much, since my ex and I got together when we were both very young. I joined Match.com and dated. A lot. I went on 15 dates in six weeks and enjoyed every one of them.

One night I was out on a date with a nice, Jewish doctor from New York. Between a bite of spicy tuna roll and a sip of hot sake, it hit me: I already had what (who) I was searching for. In an instant, everything seemed clear. I could barely wait to end the (quite lovely) date I was on and speak to my ex-boyfriend. I hoped he missed me, would forgive me for leaving, and would take me back.

I'd posted on my Match.com profile that, "I'll know you're the one when you hold me in your arms and I feel like I'm home."

My ex-boyfriend came over that night and we held each other tight. I sunk into his arms and knew I was home.

This two year journey from when my ex-husband left until now has been the most challenging and enlightening time of my life. My boyfriend (yes, we are back together again, and this time for good!), kids, parents, sisters, and a few, close friends lifted me up, dusted me off, and time after time, pointed me in the right direction. Also, many of you wrote inspiring words of encouragement on my blog or Twitter, and for that I will always be grateful.

So, what or who in your life are you "missing?" What or who is hidden in plain sight? Look around. You may be surprised.

22 comments:

Sandra Leigh said...

What a delight it is to read your story, Debra -- and how smart you are to recognize what (who) you need and act on that. I wish you every happiness.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Thank, Sandra. Your support is precious. ;-)

Karen Walker said...

Wow! You're amazing, Debra. Glad you found such a special someone and that he was so understanding. What a blessing.
Karen

Julie said...

Awesome post! Glad you are so happy!

Love ya.

Anonymous said...

Good for you!
Keith H

Laura Marcella said...

I'm so happy for you, Debra! It's wonderful to hear you being so positive and excited about the present... and now the future! :)

John said...

Beautifully written and inspirational!

Anonymous said...

I don’t ever leave a post on your blog, this is your world and I totally enjoy sitting on the sideline watching the creative side of you blossom. I truly hope the nice doctor from the big apple is not on suicide watch (poor guy), but I have a feeling he just might be. At times in life we need to take the longer path in order to know our journey was full and complete. It’s not always easy but definitely necessary and if you’re lucky enough to have people in your life who understand this...let’s just say you have won the Love Lottery!

Your Favorite Lamp

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Karen, Thanks. He is, indeed, a blessing.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Julie, I wouldn't have made it without you, my AC friend!!!

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Keith, Let's do dinner soon. ;-)

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Laura, Thanks so much. Your comments always bring a smile to my face. ;-)

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

John, Thank you so much!

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

My Favorite Lamp, You rock my world. Thank you for your kindness, patience, and incredible love. I'd say a few other things, but people are listening...!

Jamie Mason said...

What fantastic news. I love it! It way better than finding $20 in your jeans in the laundry -- and that's pretty darned good.

Keep the good news coming, please.

-Jamie

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Jamie, Thanks, my friend. BTW - postponing trip down south. I'll let you know when I can reschedule. x0x0x0

Mollie said...

Bobby as a lamp... You wearing the shade....

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Mollie, How the hell are you, my long, lost friend???

Perry Block said...

Very perceptive and interesting piece.

But I'm still holding out for Stevie Nicks.

Beth said...

A very sweet entry, Deb. Sometimes it can take a little bit to find out what should have been obvious to us all along. But to me, that makes it all the more precious. I'm glad you had that experience!

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Perry, I'll let you know when Stevie stops by. ;-)

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Thanks, Beth. Life does sometimes work in strange ways...

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