Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Goddess of My Existence or Time For Me to Fly

I am in a period of great transition and growth. I am "coming alive," feeling the winds of change blowing; the Earth spinning beneath my feet.

Experiencing life by myself for the first time in over 30 years is one of the greatest gifts imaginable. I am allowing my direction to flow naturally and my spirit to soar purely and authentically. As someone  smart once told me, I am learning to, "Move my brilliant ass out of the way and let the magic happen!

In keeping with listening to the (non-psychotic) voices from within (I do my best to ignore the truly crazy ones)...

I purchased a used Baldwin upright piano (pics to follow after it's delivered). Baldwin, by the way, is the name of the town I grew up in on Long Island; a place where I had a ridiculously happy childhood. Coincidence? Maybe. But I'm inclined to believe less in coincidence as I grow older. 

I am dating in a powerful and fun way. It is a treat to be with people and listen to where they are along their journey, all the while searching for "the one" I will share the second half of my life with. 

I've been dancing like no one's watching (which, unless there are holes in my walls I'm unaware of, they're not) and getting a huge amount of joy (and cardio work-outs!) from it. Music moves me like nothing else, yet I've pushed it away in order to heal. Maybe the next step will be to start writing songs again? I hope so. That would be truly wonderful. 

I am spending time with my cat, Emma, who emulates all things Zen.

I've been offered a publishing contract with an independent publisher that I am considering.

And, I am enjoying the sweet melodies in the peace that surrounds me; beautiful sounds I've successfully muted much of my life.

Next month will be exactly two years since my 7.5 magnitude emotional earthquake. I was told it takes two years to get over such an event, and from my present vantage point, I would have to agree. I am finally feeling whole again; happy, calm, and totally at peace with the unknown that lies ahead. What I do know is I get to create the direction of my life. I am the artist yielding the brush; the writer holding the quill; the sculptor molding the clay. I am the goddess of my existence, able to sprinkle magic dust wherever and however I please.
With friends and family lifting me up with their ever-present love and support, I feel safe and able to spread my wings. In the words of REO Speedwagon, "I believe it's time for me to fly."

12 comments:

Jemi Fraser said...

Lovely Deb - just lovely! I know those wings will take you many happy places - enjoy your newest journey! :)

Ruthanne Reid said...

*HUGS* Keep your mind and eyes open. You never know where more healing and joy will come - and a chance to give some to others.

Karen Walker said...

Debra, I know you will soar.
Karen

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Jemi, Thank you, my dear. ;-)

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Ruthanne, Thanks for your comment. So true! (((hugs back)))

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Karen, I'll look for you "up there"!!!

Luna said...

Thank you for inspiring me today. I too have been going through many shifts and changes and some days I feel weighed down by them. Your post reminded me how grateful I am for these very changes and how much I am growing. Love and light! Luna

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Luna, Love and light right back atcha! Get out there and make your dreams come true. xoxo

nsiyer said...

Hi Debrah!
The caterpillar is bound to become a butterfly.
I am happy you are living life powerfully and yourself have created the MAGIC, setting aside the stories and rackets.
Great living and you will actually fly.
I am always flying as always since whenever anything happens, I get the distinctions very fast.
All the best.

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Nsiyer, You are a true "angel" in my life. Thank you for your wonderful stories and for "getting" me. Namaste, my friend.

Leah @ The Miracle Journal said...

I just found your blog while I was looking for an image for a post that I was making. Came to your most recent post to read more - and saw that you've got my very favorite quote in it! "Don't ask yourself what the world needs..." Ah, thank you for the reminder. :-)
~Leah

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Leah, So glad you found me by accident. I went by your place and love it as well. Cosmic accidents = awesome.

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