Most days are simply continuations of the day before or a subtle lead in to tomorrow. But some days are turning points. Today is one of those days.
Last night, not long after midnight, I finished edits on my new manuscript. A huge psychic weight lifted off off my shoulders. (As any writer knows, it's the next best thing to writing, "The End!") I played a game of Spider Solitaire in celebration, promised myself a Grand Marnier in the near future, and headed up to bed. At 6AM I got back up. I hadn't slept a wink.
I did, however, feel a cold coming on. At first I thought it was allergies, but instead of subsiding, the sneezes, stuffiness, and itchy eyes progressed. I haven't been sick, even with a slight cold, in almost three years.
The day after I got married, I was struck with a high fever. After all the planning and gown buying and reception-hall-picking and as-close-to-perfect-as-possible-wedding-celebrations were over, my body gave in.
That was a turning point.
And so is this.
I'm adeptly in tune with my body, as I think many people (read: women) are. The slightest ache or weakness is noted and carefully monitored by my inner doctor. Almost always, the ache or perceived rise in temperature passes, and my inner doctor relaxes and reverts to "on call" status. My body is again giving in, but not due to the beginning of a marriage.
My attorney emailed me this morning asking me to sign a document. I clicked on the page and saw, "Affidavit of Consent."
The marriage of the Plaintiff and Defendant is irretrievably broken.
I will be signing my name on a divorce decree after 27 years of marriage.
A turning point like few others.
I know what you're thinking: Get plenty of rest and push the fluids.
That's exactly what I plan to do. And, then I'll hold my head high, put one foot in front of the other, and proudly walk forward into my new unimaginable future.
|Laurie (my sister) & Peter's Wedding. 10.01.11 Centennial, CO|
EPIPHANY: In regards to this post, a friend of mine wrote on FB: "I always got sick right after nationals. Means you've done great things, lady." She was a talented swimmer in HS. Interesting viewpoint, given it took me an entire year to complete my novel and am now dealing, in a more serious way, with the end of a LTR. Pushing yourself forward through the eye of a life-changing needle is like giving birth. Right now I'm in psychic labor, and the aches, pains, stuffy head, and sore throat are what I must feel to give birth to a new life...mine.
*I love that I found an art gallery to represent this post. Artistic expression, in all its' facets, is one of the things I'm most committed to at this turning point in my life.