Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Breaking Through

And... I'm in! Yes, it's true. I live in a new place. A place with beautiful hardwood floors, a tumbled marble back splash, brilliant artwork, and glorious views of nature. I also have a new place to write. A place I call my "study." A place where, today, I added nearly 1400 words to my wip.

What makes a new house a home? Love. Plain and simple. And, I've got that, too. I'm lucky and grateful and can barely express my thanks to those who fill my life with love. From breakdowns, come breakthroughs. The trick is letting the breakthroughs break through.

Here are a few pics of my humble new abode. Grab a drink, put your feet up, and make yourself at home. Life is short. Live it.

Dream. Love. Dance. Create. Rejoice. Cry. Honor. Adore. Give. Receive. Heal. Be Grateful. Repeat...

Dining Room

Living Room
Study

Study

Kitchen

Front Entryway

Backyard

Patio

Master Bedroom

Monday, May 16, 2011

This is the Week...

This is the week - the week I move out of the place I've called "home" - the week I move into my own, beautiful, new place - the week I step gracefully and gratefully from one life into another. 

I never thought such a time would come. I thought I'd be married "forever." But, life isn't always fair; it doesn't always go as planned.

Along this sometimes rocky journey I've learned a lot. I've learned:
  • Who my real friends are;
  • Whom I can trust;
  • My family is my greatest treasure; 
  • I can live on my own and not make a complete mess of things;
  • I can write as many drafts of a story as it takes to get it to where it needs to be;
  • My boyfriend is my love and my rock;
  • My children are amazing beyond my wildest dreams; 
  • I am my own best friend;
  • It's okay to ask for help.
For these lessons, I'm deeply grateful. To those who helped me climb out of the darkness and back into the light, I'm forever in your debt. 

This is the week - the week I take back control - the week I step forward into the rest of my life.  

Each of us is like a diamond, glaring in the light
Yet, blindfolds of our own design keep us in the night
Each of us is like a diamond, tainted, rare, and true
Striving to express our inner souls, our inner truths

Life takes turns we'd not imagined, choices strange are made

A shell game full of love and traitors, painful, aching shame
Our paths, they crisscross on and on, an ancient dance unnamed
One is here and one is out there, random as the rain

Diamonds II (Random as the Rain) by Debra Lynn Lazar, 9.15.2010

Monday, May 2, 2011

Being at Peace

Making up your mind feels good. After a small snag in the home-buying saga, I've decided to stick with Plan A - the townhome. I don't need a big yard or a pool. Everything I want and need is in the beautiful home I've selected floors, cabinets, granite, and paint colors for.

Settlement/closing date is only two weeks away, so this decision is timely, to say the least. The choice is made, but I'm still resisting. I haven't packed a thing. The thought of packing seems overwhelming. That said, I'm not worried. One way or another, me and my stuff will soon be residing in a different locale; one that holds only pure possibility.

This week has been transformational in several ways. First, the house. Then, my writing. Along with packing, I'd been stuck with my writing. I realized I have a story around it that goes like this: When I'm writing, the world is perfect. I have meaning in my life and a reason to get up in the morning. When I'm not writing, I feel worthless and I all I want to do is sleep. I know this sounds overly dramatic, but it's "true" for me. (In other words, it's what I choose to believe.) 

Over these past few days, a dear friend and beta reader turned the creative light back on for me (I'd apparently misplaced the switch), and I'm, once again, forging ahead with my women's fiction novel and finishing up edits on my YA book. Now, my only problem is,that I have to sleep!

Welcome back, muse. I love you. I love my life. It feels good to be at peace.

What do you do when you're "stuck?" Do you torture yourself? Tell yourself you're not worthwhile? Do you sleep, eat, drink, or find some other way to hide from the fact you're not doing what your passionate about? Or, is it okay for you - just part of the process? Spill, people, spill. Your words of wisdom are highly in demand.

Picture above I took in Rehoboth Beach last summer.

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