First of all, my sincere thanks to everyone who counted themselves in to help me donate to the tsunami disaster in Japan. In all, 22 people stepped up to the plate and were counted in. Therefore, I'll be donating an additional $110 to the relief efforts. Thank you all so much, and to the people of Japan: may you continue to heal physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
Secondly, I've done my best to be honest about the dissolution of my marriage. I've shared the heartbreak, anger, doubts, jealousy, and deep sadness I've experienced throughout these past eleven months. In so many ways, time truly heals all. The process has been slow and painful, but I now feel stronger, more clear-eyed, and more joyful than ever.
Now I'm Ready to Start
I would rather be wrong
Than live in the shadows of your song
My mind is open wide
And now I'm ready to start
from Ready to Start by Arcade Fire
Due to this situation, one of the issues I've had to address is my name.
Question: What's in a name?
Answer: A lot.
Your name is deeply tied to your identity. In many ways, it's how you know yourself and how others know you.
In the case of divorce, do you keep your ex's last name, and if so, why? For the sake of the kids? Because it's easier? Because you're used to it? For a writer, your name takes on an additional meaning since it's also your brand. Brands are important for marketing purposes. If you're already published, changing your name is a far trickier endeavor. I'm lucky in that I can make this change before I sell billions and billions of books.
To find a solution to the name game, I considered three possibilities:
1) Keep my ex's last name. (A name I've used for longer than I care to admit.)
2) Use my maiden name. (A name I haven't used in longer than I care to admit.)
3) Create a pen name. (I've done this with my music. It's fun, but rather confusing. I kind of felt like Sybil.)
AND THE WINNER IS...!
After much thought on this subject, I've decided to use my maiden name. This has been a difficult decision, but one I feel is the best choice under the circumstances.
So, ladies and gentleman, please allow me to introduce myself:
I am... DEBRA LYNN LAZAR!
So, what do you think? And, how about you? Have you ever had to deal with a name change? If so, how did it go?