Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Leave Your Ghosts in the Dust

***This is a post I wrote earlier this year. I felt the need to, once again, let this message fill the sacred space on my blog. I hope these words move and inspire you. I hope they make your burden a little easier to bear.

Along with the fluctuating temperatures and my weight, my moods have been up and down, high and low, euphoric and devastating.

Has my life always been this way and I somehow hadn't noticed? Or, has the emotional roller coaster I've been hanging onto for dear life over the past few years blurred my sense of reality? I'm not sure, but I do know life has been atypically bumpy, and it's making me dizzy.

Lately, I find myself spending an inordinate amount of time questioning the path my life has taken and wondering at what point I will feel whole and complete again. At times, bitterness, anger, and intense sadness cloud my insanely beautiful life. The frustrating part is knowing I have the power to change my thoughts, but not doing it every time the bad ones invade.

This is one of the great mysteries of being human: knowing we have powers, yet not utilizing them to our best ability. Why do we do this? Who knows. Maybe it's too hard to face the possibility of our absolute magnificence.

Thankfully, I'm an optimist at heart, so it doesn't usually take too long to grapple my way out of my self-imposed dungeon. I remember the importance of placing one foot in front of the other, and, by doing that, I realize there are many things to learn from the crescendos and decrescendos of my ever-changing emotions.

For example:

1) Experiencing the ups and downs of life is part of the human condition. It's "normal."

2) Moving forward after a major breakdown can be both euphoric and depressing; often within the same day or even the same hour. Don't just deal with the craziness of your emotions; revel in them. They prove you're alive. Free. Changing. Growing.

3) The people who stand by you during the insanity of a major life change are golden/priceless/irreplaceable/saint-like. Thank them often. Let them know how special they are. Buy them wine and chocolate.

4) It takes time to reprogram your vision of how you believed your life would be. The sooner you're able to leave your ghosts in the dust, the sooner you'll be able to create a richer life with new relationships, goals, and dreams.

5) Be appreciative of every minute of every day. Remember, the stronger the challenge, the stronger you'll be once you get through it.

6) Trust yourself. Love yourself. Be your best friend.

Moving on often entails experiencing excruciating feelings of sadness, abandonment, jealousy, and anger. But dealing with difficult emotions has its rewards, like letting you know how deeply you can feel; how joyously you can dream; how passionately you can love.

Don't let the roller coaster slam you against an emotional wall. Ride it until it slows and gently lets you off in a quieter place; a more peaceful place; a place where you can get your bearings; a place where you can begin, once again, to create something beautiful, lasting, and unimaginable.

Trust yourself. Place one foot in front of the other. Leave your ghosts in the dust.

Have you had a period of emotional turbulence you thought you couldn't get through? If so, how did you overcome it?

24 comments:

Kristi Faith said...

Oh man, I could have written this post.. though not so eloquently. :)

I think you are doing exactly right. Writing affirmations. Continuing to fight the fight. :)

Hang in there...the light at the end of the tunnel might not be a train after all ;)

Beth said...

Deb, I recently posted an entry about how we deal with grief. There was a great article in Time about it, and it really helped me with some perspective as I continue to deal with my Dad's death. I linked to the article in my post, and it (the article) is very much worth a read for anyone who is dealing with grief, for whatever reason.

Hugs, Beth

Debra L. Schubert said...

Kristi,I'm glad you liked the post. And I sure as heck hope it's not a train!

Debra L. Schubert said...

Beth, I will head over to your place and read the post. Yup, it's definitely grief...

Julie said...

Yes, I've had turbulence. And let me think... how did I get to the other side. Oh, I know, I listened to you. Love you!

Karen Walker said...

I'm in the midst of one right now, Deb. You are so right in what you say here. We just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and ride it out. Sending you virtual hugs
karen

Donna said...

I've been on the life change/purpose roller coaster for a while, and things are finally coming together. You are so right about reframing your beliefs about what your life "should" look like, and the people who stand by you. Priceless. Thanks for this post!

Debra L. Schubert said...

Julie, Sometimes it's easier to help others than to help ourselves... Can't wait to catch up. Love you!

Debra L. Schubert said...

Karen, I wish you peace and sanity as you brave through your current "stuff." Know you're not alone and that you're beautiful and strong. I'm here if you need to "talk."

Debra L. Schubert said...

Donna, I'm so glad the post had meaning for you. It's quite a wild ride, this life thing...

Shveta Thakrar said...

Beautiful post! Thank you!

Debra L. Schubert said...

Shveta, You're most welcome. ;-)

Tawna Fenske said...

This is beautiful! Thank you so much for writing it.

((hugs))

Tawna

Debra L. Schubert said...

Tawna, You're welcome. (((hugs back atcha)))

Fickle Cattle said...

Nicely said. I agree with all of it. Acceptance that the ebb and flow is part of life is the key I think.

http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

Debra L. Schubert said...

FC, Well said. ;-)

BookGeek said...

This is me right now. Seriously. I am basically on a roller coaster with some issues with my church and family. It's rough; incredible sadness, confusion and depression. But I also know that the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter and I have my husband and my faith to get me through. Thanks for such a beautiful and honest post. It resonated with me on a lot of levels. Wishing you the best.

Debra L. Schubert said...

BG, We really are all in this crazy thing called "life" together. Happy to help in some small way. ((hugs))

Kathleen said...

We stated and so encouraging. So happy I stopped on by and blessings to you in all you do.

Debra L. Schubert said...

Kathleen, Thank you for stopping in. I'm glad you enjoyed the post.

Jack said...

When life gets rough I write, and write and write. In between I exercise more and remind myself that it is an adventure.

Every good adventure has moments of hardship but they are overcome Change doesn't have to be bad.

It is not easy, but it works for me.

Sheri said...

Wow. It's so strange that you reposted this today on the day that I took my Dad to visit a retirement home. I'm so emotional right now. I'm trapped between really missing my Mom and trying to get my Dad to see that this would be a great move for him. I know it has to be his decision but he's so stubborn that he makes me want to scream!
I guess I just need to hold on for the ride.
Your words are amazing :)

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Sheri, You and your family are amazing. Now I know why I came upon this post! (I rarely read prior posts but, for some reason, this one "found me" yesterday.) Trust yourself to know what's best for your wonderful dad. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.

Much love, D.

Reagan Philips said...

A post I needed to read today.

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