Monday, March 8, 2010

SUBLIMINAL MONDAY: Bring on the Spring!

Like my dad used to say when we were little, "Spring has sprung, the grass has ris, I wonder where the birdies is?"

We're not quite there, but we're close enough for rock and roll. You know how I know this? Because next weekend is the beginning of Daylight Savings Time! That's right, folks, we lose one precious hour of sleep [mad partying] in order to gain more daylight.

By the same token, when The Universe snatches away our sacred daylight in the fall, it leaves a crummy hour as a booby prize on a table next to a half-eaten cookie and warm glass of milk. A rotten deal to be sure, but for now, let the sun shine, let the sun shine in, the sun shine in! [You must be naked and theoretically or actually high while reading that last line. Feel free to send pics for my next blog post entitled, My Followers In All Their "Glory"]

So, what are my plans for the spring, you ask? [No one cares,] Well, I'm glad you asked! I've got plans - big ones.

For example, I'm doing a major redo on my boudoir. Yup, a boudoir redo! Isn't that exciting? [Not particularly.] First I took my blog to the spa and gave it a shiny new "do," and now it's my bedroom's turn. I'm on a roll. [Bored to death, need something to give my life the pretense of meaning.] I'm changing out the red, black, and gold for blue, cream, and taupe. I don't know if it's the dreary, impossibly long winter that's thankfully drawing to a close causing my soul to scream for change, or simply my inner-decorating-diva wanting to step on stage, but I'm craving soft, soothing surroundings instead of wild, sensual, passionate ones. [Soothing vs passionate = old.] I mean, I'm not ditching passion altogether - we can still have wild, passionate, hot, well you know [sex] in a calm, soothing environment, right? [Once a month, missionary style, whether we need to or not.] It's just, I'm feeling the need for deep breathing, peace, silence, calmness, tranquility, blah, blah, blah.

This, by the way, has nothing to do with age [total lie] and everything to do with embracing my inner Ghandi. [Good Lord, the BS is flowing faster than the Nile.] As I gracefully mature [never happen], I feel the need for calm and peace in my world. My days of heavy partying are behind me [damn it all to hell!] and it's time to move forward with intention, productivity, and focused desire. [Focused desire? Maybe I should keep the red...]

Are any of you experiencing the need for a simpler more tranquil lifestyle? Has the majesty of your Glory Days passed you by? Do you miss those days, or are you glad they're over? [If you say you're glad they're over, you're either lying or dead.] Are you craving a more peaceful existence? I am. And my bedroom will soon reflect that.

Another thing I'm hoping spring will bring [Dr. Seuss, move over!] is my book submission and record-breaking, 7-figure book deal. No pressure for Awesome Agent or anything, but I would like my book deal to pay off my mortgage and credit card bills before the summer solstice, which according to the US Naval Observatory, will arrive at precisely 7:28AM EDT on June 21st. [AA? Are you still there, AA? I'll give you a Coach bag, remember? And maybe even a matching wallet. It'll be SO worth it!]

[Drama queen alert!] And, then there's that European vacation I've been dreaming of for lo, so many, dreary, long, heart-wrenching years. Isn't it sad that I've never been? I mean, don't you feel extreme angst for me knowing that, at this late stage of the game, I've never been off the continent? [Read my lips: NO ONE CARES!] Okay, so I've been to the Caribbean islands and even the tippy-top of Venezuela, but seriously people, [geographical genius alert] those places are not Europe! I'm hoping one of these days that my honey or AA will make my traveling dreams come true. After all, I think someone besides myself should make my dreams come true, don't you? [No.] I mean, it's only fair. [It's nothing remotely close to fair.]

In review, my Spring Dreams are as follows:
  1. New and improved, soft, soothing, blue boudoir;
  2. 7-figure book deal, all bills paid off;
  3. European vacation.
What are your Spring Dreams? (Before you answer, remember: life is short so DREAM BIG!) [Seriously, it's short. And getting shorter by the minute. You don't have much time left. Go! Get Cracking! Scat! Why are you still here? Run, little snowflakes, run!]

And don't forget to set the clocks ahead next weekend. Bring on the spring, baby, BRING. ON. THE. SPRING!


Sybir St. John said...

*chuckle* You so make my Mondays.

Soft & soothing in the bedroom might just lead to slow, tantric sex ;)Of course, now you have me thinking about how I can do MY bedroom up, since the walls are still a bland boring white.

Spring Dreams?
1) Find an AA for myself
2) Get book deal to pay off house (or maybe a Nike endorsement, we have a great discussion going on FB about Nike needed an everyday MOM for advertising, cause Tiger just worked out SO well)
3) Paris - I always love going back to Paris for a week.
4) To make it through Kindergarten with my sanity in check.

Hmmm, I should be outside and writing today when it hits 60. That'll make for a nice Spring.

Kimberly Franklin said...

I hate loosing an hour of my precious weekends. Who decided to spring forward on a weekend? Why not a weekday? Hmmmm...?

Spring is a good time to remodel ( even better time to spend tons of money on your house because..ha-ha... there is now way I'll be spending money on things like bikini's. hA! *tear*).

I started my spring remodeling this weekend (tear).

fellow-ette said...

Same as yours, Deb! Agent/Book deal and European vacation.

nsiyer said...



Karen Walker said...

My bedroom is done in shades of blue and yes, it is peaceful. Love it. Oh, and I didn't get to Europe for the first time till I was 50 - so there's hope - I know you are nowhere near 50 yet, Deb.
My wishes for Spring - a healthy mind,body,spirit so I can continue writing, singing, and enjoying life with my hubby.

Ruthanne Reid said...

HA! Forgot all about the hour loss next Sunday. Figures. :D

Big dreams... oh, I can give you big dreams: three books finished instead of two, and an agent who can rep all of them in spite of different genres. Why not? It could happen!

Also, there's nothing "old" about soothing, lemme tell ya. I grew up in a pastor's house - the kind of pastor who solves eeeeeeeeverybody's problems at all hours of day or night, which meant in my house, something was always happening.

Frantic phone calls at 2am.

Guests who had nowhere else to go or needed some extra counseling for a while.

Out-of-towners who knew this pastor had a soft heart and would take in any dog, no matter how stray, wet, or yiggy.

(Yiggy is a word. Okay, no it's not.)

So when I got married, I learned a new lesson very quickly: *peace.* Peace is absolutely invaluable, priceless, something worth seeking after no matter what.

It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with your house being a home - a place of rest.

And trust me: the sex is NOT going to suffer. ;)

Daisy Whitney said...

That red bedroom is awesome!

T. Anne said...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the 7 figure book-deal for you. And is spring really coming??? Is it? Is it??

WendyCinNYC said...

I read recently that the color blue will de-sex a bedroom. What color is my bedroom, do ya think?

No, I'm not even going there.

Debra L. Schubert said...

Stacia, Slow, tantric sex, huh? How quickly can I finish the boudoir redo?

I wish you the best of luck on your Spring Dreams - may every one of them come true. ;-)

Debra L. Schubert said...

Kimberly, The loss of a precious hour is the cruel price we pay for the even more precious extension of light. [Pretty spiritual, eh?]

And, bikinis, who need 'em? [I do. If only I could look like I did 20 years ago...]

Debra L. Schubert said...

Sarah, I wish for all your dreams to come true, my friend!!!

Debra L. Schubert said...

nsiyer, Spring is a time for rebirth, new beginnings, looking at life in a fresh light. It is a precious time of the year.

Debra L. Schubert said...

Karen, I love you for thinking I'm nowhere near 50. So not true, but so appreciated!!!

Debra L. Schubert said...

Ruthanne, Wow, it sounds like your childhood was a wild ride! I also bet you learned a lot about compassion and taking care of others from your dad - what great gifts.

I'm looking forward to my "blue room." And, thanks for the last line of your comment. Hope springs eternal!

Debra L. Schubert said...

Daisy, Isn't it? Mine isn't quite so decluttered. After six years of red, I'm aiming for the blue. I'll let you know how it goes. ;-)

Debra L. Schubert said...

T. Anne, Don't hurt yourself. I'm just dreaming out loud. And, yes - spring is almost here!!!

Debra L. Schubert said...

Wendy, So, is it true? ;-)

Sharla said...

Oh girl, you crack me up. Seriously. And I have all the tranquilness (word?) you need...give me that RED!!! Love the red.

Spring Dreams:
1)Finish/edit wip before April 9th writer conference...[hear head spinning like Linda Blair? yep.]
2]Have synopsis/agent pitch ready for above mentioned not-yet-finished wip before April 9th. Did I mention that is 1 month and 1 day away?
3)Have AA be so bedazzled with my newly finished wip (completed night before) that she/he offers me representation on the spot and even speed dials major publisher and sells it for 7 figure deal, with half of that as an advance.
4)Pay a genius to do my daughter's homework so it ups her GPA.
5)Buy a new house with new fortune that already has all our "projects" done and perfect.

Sounds about right.

Debra L. Schubert said...

Sharla, Actually, that's a great point. For all of you "sleepers" out there, it may be time to jazz things up a bit. Red may be just what the doctor [and your sex life] ordered! Best of luck w/the conference, completing your wip, and finding a house in "move-in" condition. ;-)

Aidan Donnelley Rowley @ Ivy League Insecurities said...

Nothing like dreaming big! Um, this spring, I would like my debut novel to hit the bestseller list and then I will take a day trip to Chicago to appear on Oprah. Nothing crazy :)

(PS - I cannot believe you are living in your 6th home! That's amazing!)

mo.stoneskin said...

Now I understand where you get your bad grammar from...

Ha, kidding.

*strips naked*

*replaces batteries in camera*

*"glory" did she say?*

Kelly said...

Bring on the spring, Baby!
Love your color choices for the bedroom. My hubby bought a sage green for our white walled bedroom six months ago. Still sitting in the basement...
My spring dreams...Agent then book sale. I don't even need big bucks, I want average bucks for the sale. Bring it! :)
May all our spring dreams come true!!

Debra L. Schubert said...

Aidan, That's dreaming big! Awesome, you go, girlfriend. [I'm available, for a small fee, for trips to Chicago to visit Oprah.] BTW, it's only the 5th home we've owned. SUCH a difference!

Debra L. Schubert said...

mo, Glory it is! I'm so glad at least one of my loyal followers read the SM's thoroughly. [I'll give you my POB address whenever the pics are ready.]

Debra L. Schubert said...

Kelly, Sage green is awesome. Maybe you can promise him "a treat" if he'll paint the bedroom? [See Sybir's comment for ideas.] And, best of luck with your Spring Dreams - you deserve every bit of goodness and success that's coming your way. ;-)

jdcoughlin said...

I love the blue room. I love the red, too, but that swirl would keep me awake, sliding my eyes up and down and around. Too much eye candy for me. I'm easily distracted.
But my dream, foot massage every week, a devoted housekeeper who doesn't mind finding coffee cups and underwear in strange places, and new garage doors.
Yep, that's right. I dream big.

Debra L. Schubert said...

Judith, New garage doors! I want those, too! Along with a paver walkway, enlarged driveway, new shutters and windows, and a new patio on the side of the house. Did I not mention that in the post? [Delusional.]

Oh, and your weekly foot massage idea is pure genius. ;-)

Fragrant Liar said...

Spring dreams? Mine include buying a new house -- for JUST ME. And finishing my NIP and having an agent offer to represent me and hooking up with a publisher, via auction, and getting a PFAT advance. That's probably all I can handle for spring. But, summer's just around the corner!

Tiffany Neal said...

Love spring!

My spring goals - I wish I could share the 7 book deal, but I guess I should query the first one and then go from there... :)

So my spring goal is to query my first one and hopefully make it to the next round of ABNA! :)

Thanks for a great post!

koralee said...

Your Spring is busy my friend...I am so with you. Bring on Spring! Have a wonderful day!

Debra L. Schubert said...

FL, Best of luck with the house and the PFAT advance! Anything's possible at this awesome time of the year. ;-)

Debra L. Schubert said...

Tiffany, Glad you enjoyed the post, and best of luck as you gear up for querying. With the right attitude, querying can be fun - you're moving towards seeing your dreams come true. ;-)

Debra L. Schubert said...

Koralee, Spring reminds me of your blog: fresh, beautiful - a place where everything is possible.

Pranayama mama said...

i just stumbled upon this blog; must bookmark it.

in unrelated news, our bedroom is blue. tranquil. boring. for what it's worth: not recommended.

Debra L. Schubert said...

Pranayama, First of all, welcome. Secondly, don't tell me that! I'm going for more of a teal than a light blue. Plus, I'm mixing and matching patterns and coordinating colors. Is that better? More exciting? Less boring? [It's okay to lie on Subliminal Monday posts. Not that I ever do.]

Nancy J. Parra said...

LOL- Thanks for the fabulous chuckle!! Great way to start the evening. cheers~

Debra L. Schubert said...

Nancy, You're welcome. Happy to bring on the laughter. ;-)

gael lynch said...

I'm a day late and more than a few dollars short on this one, Debra...but here's my list, such as it is:

1. Working on the agent yes! That is number one.
2. Seven-ten figure deal with movie and foreign rights deals too. (You said dream big!)
3. A beach house of my very own.
4. CASH to pay off my house too.
5. An unlimited travel voucher that can take me around the world and back (with my BF, of course!)

Oh...and the glory days? NEVER, EVER over, girl! We will live on in infamy!! ;) (Oh, then maybe I should throw in the dream of a 20-something inch waist!!)

Debra L. Schubert said...

Gael, You win the prize for dreaming big - I love it!!!! And, I'm with you - I'll never get past the Glory Days, nor do I want to. Never, ever, ever! ;-)

A.M. Kuska said...

You're gonna be jealous when I tell you I'm going to Hawaii for my honeymoon, and don't even have to use book-deal money for it!

Of course, having a book-deal to spend on a trip to Hawaii would be nice...

One thing at a time though, right?

Debra L. Schubert said...

A.M., Am I going to be jealous? Of course, not! Congrats to you and I hope you have a magnificent time on your romantic honeymoon. [Hawaii? Fine. Whatever. I'll get there one day if I have to swim across the Pacific!]

kristina said...

You are such a great writer. I love this post, except I'm a bit saddened to hear about blue rooms and the unintended effect - anecdotally, it may be true, sad to say.

Your blog makes me look forward to Mondays - well, after a couple of cups of coffee. :)

Debra L. Schubert said...

Kristina, Thank you, darlin'. I'm glad you enjoy SM's. I'll do "before" and "after" pics of my bedroom on my blog so everyone can see how sexy blue can be. ;-)

Lilly said...

Hello stranger! I am back to blogging after months off and just checking in to see what you ahve been up too. That book deal will happen.

My dreams - to move to Italy to live for a year, drink wine, cycle through the countryside and forget about serious stuff for a while!

Funny my Mum used to say 'Spring is sprung the grass is riz, nobody knows where the flowers iz...or something like that'.

I shall be back to catch up on your blog. Take Care!

Debra L. Schubert said...

LILLY'S BACK - YEAH!!!!! I'm so glad to see your beautiful face on my blog again. I've missed you something fierce. [So happy. You've made my day.]

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

I think you are on your way to reaching your dreams. Seriously! You're on fire these days and there is no stopping you! And you know what, you look radiant being successful too.

My spring dreams??? Hmmm.... Well, I just started creating these monthly challenges for myself to help break up my stay at home mom status and sometimes boredom. March includes completing my first ever 5k race and doing Jillian Michaels every day. April or May will be Literacy month where I read some classic books and find ways to do more reading with Viva the Diva. Other than that, just keep on living life and enjoying myself. I'm not very motivated with my writing right now but I'm okay with that. Just enjoying my daily life and if I get inspired, great. If not, then I cook a damn good meal and do an awesome dance in the living room. :-)

Keep up your great work. You always inspire me.

Debra L. Schubert said...

Mandy, You are doing what you have passion for, which is absolutely perfect. I love hearing from you and am thrilled that I inspire you. You inspire me by the way you "create your life." ;-)

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