I did it, folks - I finished the 3rd draft of my YA novel! Could you possibly be more excited? No, I didn't think so. [Moving trash cans to the curb would be more exciting. Watching the grass grow would be far more exciting. Getting a root canal would be practically thrilling.] It is such a great feeling, almost as good as [sorry, folks, trying to keep this G-rated]. I will read through my ms one more time before I send it off to Awesome Agent (AA) and hope she loves it as much as I love my five-month old niece, Devyn from Heaven. [Will send 80% dark chocolate offerings to the gods in hopes she doesn't realize what a ghastly mistake she's made.].
Once I send it off to her, I'll dive right into the follow-up like a good writer [go on a week-long shopping spree and play countless games of spider solitaire.] I'm hoping the major edits are behind me, but that's not my call, now is it? [I'm begging you, AA - remember that Coach bag we talked about?]
As long as Mother Nature cooperates and doesn't bring another snowstorm to the Northeast, I will be meeting AA in NYC on Thursday. [Mother Nature's a selfish hussy. I mean, isn't two feet in one week enough for her insatiable appetite? In her case, apparently size does matter. ] I'm bringing my Flip camera and will film us having more fun than Brad and Angie on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith. [PSYCHE! Get your minds out of the gutter, people, sheesh!] We will, however, do our best to whip up some enlightening publishing tips for your vlog-viewing pleasure. It's sure to be a monumental literary experience. [Will try not to get drunk and dance on the table. SO not a good look.]
And, here's the best part: List your questions for AA in the comment section, and she may answer them in person! Yes, that's right folks - you may get to see AA answer your questions live and in person on my next vlog. Aren't I amazing? [Um, no. AA's amazing. You, on the other hand, are a pitiful cross between boring and pathetically self-involved.]