Monday, February 15, 2010

SUBLIMINAL MONDAY: Meeting Awesome Agent - The Ballad of B & D

I bet you're wondering how my meeting with Awesome Agent aka Bernadette Baker-Baughman of Baker's Mark Literary went? [You're not? Fine. Be that way. I have no feelings.] It wasn't easy, people, let me tell you: It. Was. Not. Easy.

First of all, she was supposed to fly in on the Red Eye Tuesday night, but, guess what? The East Coast got slammed with the biggest storm in like a bazillion years. [That's not an exaggeration. It was a bazillion and three years since the last storm this big hit Philly, Baltimore, & DC. Google it if you don't believe me.] So.... plane canceled.

Tears streamed down my face at warped speed for the next 24 hours until, VWALAH - Wednesday night Red Eye took flight! Yes, Maribelle, there is a God and her name is jetBlue. [I've no idea who Maribelle is, and if God existed, which I'm not completely convinced she does, her name would most definitely NOT be jetBlue. It would probably be something like Sasha or Ariella or Alexandra or Sasha Ariella Alexandra. You know, something with beauty, elegance, a little oomph.] Alas, my tears dried up like the Sahara after a wicked rainstorm, and joy began to creep back into the soft, slight creases on my face. [Okay, they're craters. Whatev.] Awesome Agent managed to fly 3,000 miles into the City Of My Birth, and now it was my mission to travel a mere 94 miles from Philly to NYC. No big woop, right? WRONG! In my humble town, we received 20 inches of snow atop the previous 15 inches that was dumped on us only four days prior. Three freaking feet of snow, people, three freaking feet of snow. So, guess what?

1) Honey plowed our driveway with our super-duper snow-blower for three hours and we still couldn't get a car out.

2) I couldn't get a cab to the train station.

3) Most of the trains were either not running, or seriously delayed.

So, AA was in NYC and I was, once again, crying at home in Philly. [Do you feel bad for me? Cuz you should definitely feel bad for me. Heck, even I feel bad for myself! This story is a real tear-jerker.] I was supposed to have dinner with AA, but I couldn't even get to my mailbox.

She wrote to me in an email, and I quote, "The force is strong with you, young Jedi. I believe that you'll make it. ANYTHING is possible."

Wow. She called me, Young Jedi. How could I so thoroughly disappoint my Master, especially when she'd traveled thousands of miles just to see me? [She had meetings galore in NYC. Dinner with me was, no doubt, a regretful afterthought.]

LIGHT BU
LB MOMENT! I could try to get into New York on FRIDAY! I checked the train schedules and paid the price of a plane ticket, but it was worth it, because I was on my way to meet my Master! The clouds parted, the sun shone through, the flowers bloomed, and Sasha Ariella Alexandra spoke to me. She said, "Good job, my young Jedi. The Force is most definitely with you!"

[BTW: For those of you new to my blog, if you were looking for a "meeting" here, AA doesn't mean what you think. AA stands for Awesome Agent. And, best of luck with your sobriety.]

So, after what seemed like a lifetime of tears and sadness and disappointment and sheer terror, I found myself on a bumpy, ice-lining-the-tracks train ride to NYC. [There wasn't even one scintilla of terror, I just thought I'd toss it in for effect. Did it work? Were you terrified? Good. Then, I'll give my bud Stephen King a shout-out. He's kind of green at the fear game - thinks it's "his calling" (such a Drama King!) and I believe strongly you've got to encourage the newbies.]

I arrived in Penn Station not much worse for the wear - a few hairs out of place, my make-up smeared, some drool on my chin from a much-needed nap - I mean crying for 24 hours wears you out! And then, as if in a beautiful dream, there was AWESOME AGENT! Amidst the millions of busy New Yorkers racing by, AA appeared in a black and white checked coat made of pure awesome. She walked up to me in slow motion and gave me a long, much-needed hug. I'm fairly certain Steven Spielberg hovered above in a hecidoctor [That's what my son called a helicopter when he was little. Isn't that cute? No? Oh, well, never mind then.] filming the most intense, history-making, literary moment EVAH!

We slipped inside an Irish Pub and got down to the business of getting to know each other in person. Phone calls, emails, tweets, and even Skype, don't begin to convey the magnificence of AA. She's exactly as I imagined - an angel sent from Heaven to help me along my literary path. She even has wings, I swear, it's true! [And, yes, Maribelle, the Pope is Jewish.]

We did an 8-minute vlog answering questions submitted by my dear followers. I will post that vlog later this week. All I'll say about that is that it's downright hilarious [think Chelsea Handler meets Lewis Black] and is filled with way-important literary tidbits. You will not be disappointed! [You may be bored, but you will not be disappointed!]

Until then, I hope your Valentine's Day was filled with love, and more importantly, chocolate, and that you're enjoying the Winter Games in Vancouver.

Go USA!

46 comments:

T. Anne said...

I loved reading that, what a great and memorable way to finally meet your agent! Looking forward to the vlog!!!

DebraLSchubert said...

T. Anne, Glad you enjoyed it! I think you have a question that was answered in the vlog. Stay tuned!

The Unbreakable Child said...

Deb, I'm so happy you made it!! What a feat! And your agent sounds like an angel. Yay you!!

Steph Damore said...

You're a force, ya know that Deb? :)

jdcoughlin said...

Debbie, I am so glad you hooked up! I have been wondering what happened in that you guys got your snow, and then ours on top. You are the awesome one to make that date, to make that happen, to go the distance no matter what. That force has definitely been propelling you all along.
So happy for you and looking forward to another Vlog!!

Jemi Fraser said...

So happy for you! What a turmoil filled couple of days! At least you got together in the end - I'm looking forward to the blog :)

Lynnette Labelle said...

Wow! What an adventure. Glad it was worth it and you were able to connect with your agent.

Lynnette Labelle
http://lynnettelabelle.blogspot.com

marjorielight said...

Wow! What a story - I laughed, I cried, I took a bathroom break... ;-)
I knew if anyone could make it happen, it would be you, young Jedi. Your agent story is an inspiration to us all! I love reading about your exploits, especially with your funny aside comments.
You two are a match made in heaven!

Ruthanne Reid said...

AAAH! This is so great! (And silly as it is, I teared up reading it. I am SO FREAKING GLAD this happened after all!)

(Seriously, you probably heard me WHOOP when you mentioned you were going to make it anyway.)

Cannot wait for the video. This is, truly, the definition of "awesome-sauce."

Nancy J. Parra said...

Hi Debra, this was a funny, funny post. Thanks for sharing- luv the pics that went with it. Can't wait for the vlog.

Cheers~

Karen Walker said...

This was hilarious, Debra. So glad you got to meet your AA.
Karen

DebraLSchubert said...

Kim, Thanks so much! I'm thrilled w/her - she really is amazing. Hope all's going well for you with Unbreakable Child. ;-)

DebraLSchubert said...

Steph, Thanks. I try. ;-)

DebraLSchubert said...

Judith, It was rough going for a while, but so worth it in the end! I hope you enjoy the vlog... ;-)

DebraLSchubert said...

Jemi, Thanks for reading and for being such a great virtual friend. And, thanks to your wonderful country for hosting the Olympics!

DebraLSchubert said...

Lynette, Yeah, it was an adventure alright. Hope AA appreciates all I went through to meet her. [Train rides are practically like covered wagons. Harsh, I tell you, very harsh.]

DebraLSchubert said...

Marjorie, You're right, we're a match made in Heaven. [Or somewhere perhaps a bit warmer.] I'm glad you're enjoying my ridiculous exploits and find them entertaining. I'll do my best to continue to make you smile. ;-)

DebraLSchubert said...

Ruthanne, I've got just three words for you: You. Are. Amazing. [Seriously, you so totally are. Okay, that's another five words, but you get the picture.]

DebraLSchubert said...

Nancy, Glad you found the post funny, although that was never my intention. [Liar, liar, pants on fire!] The vlog will be a hoot. I hope you enjoy it. ;-)

Kimberly Franklin said...

Can't wait to see your vlog [while I'm eating the tons of chocolate I got for Valentines day].

Subliminal Monday is the only reason I look forward to this horrid day. Thanks for making Mondays great!

DebraLSchubert said...

Karen, You've got a question that AA answered in the vlog, so be sure to check back in a couple of days. [I told her how awesome you are. You're welcome.] ;-)

DebraLSchubert said...

Kimberly, I was wondering where you were! Thank goodness you showed up, otherwise, I might have to cancel SM's. [And what a loss to humanity that would be!]

Laura Eno said...

You are a crackup! :) I'm glad your Jedi powers worked and you finally got to NYC.

gael lynch said...

Well, Young Jedi...your Valentine Adventure beats mine!! So glad you met your AA...man, talk about dedication! Look forward to the vlog! (Don't stay in those Jedi clothes, though. It's fashion week for crying out loud!!! And NYC is just crawling with fashion police!)

Kimberly Franklin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kimberly Franklin said...

I'm here. I'm here. I made time in my busy [emailing and youtube watching] schedule just for you. If you ever canceled subliminal Monday [no more chocolate for you] I would for sure die.

So, when you're a little old lady [which is about a bazillion years from now] you'll still have to write these fun [okay, hysterical] Monday posts. Okay??? ; )

DebraLSchubert said...

Laura, I swear I didn't even know I had Jedi powers until AA pointed it out. Talk about a mega-surprise! I have noticed people looking at me a bit strangely ever since I started carrying my Jedi sword. Oh well, their problem, not mine.

DebraLSchubert said...

Gael, I'll be sure to ditch the Jedi outfit before I appear in the vlog post. Would hate to upset the NYC fashion police. [Darn it all. I love my new "look!"]

DebraLSchubert said...

Kimberly, I'm sorry, did you say, "No more chocolate for you?" Then there's no longer a reason for living. Farewell, sweet world... [Just kidding! I can always buy more, right?]

Kimberly Franklin said...

LOL! Of course you can. Better yet, I'll bring some with me when I start as you assistant [Ashton and other hot boy picture looker up-er and chocolate dealer]next week.

You're too funny, Deb. : )

Chuck Schubert said...

Honey, you persevered and made it happen!! I am so proud of you young Jedi [I'm actually thinking Princess Leia; could you get that outfit for Halloween.....or maybe for no occasion at all!!]. Love ya! ;-)

DebraLSchubert said...

Chuck, Princess Leia, huh? Sure, honey, I'd be happy to dress up for you. I mean, why not? I can braid my hair so it looks like horns on the sides of my head. What woman wouldn't want to do that for their man?

[Newsflash: Men are pigs.]

Anita said...

Hah! I am so happy for you!

It's weird, but I don't care if I ever meet my agent (still haven't actually gotten one of those, btw) in person. "Just sell the book," is what I'm thinking. But I get you and who you are and I was crossing my fingers the whole time I read this post hoping you'd meet AA.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Woohoo! So glad you got to meet your AA sponsor in person Schube! :D

Happy Mardi Gras!

DebraLSchubert said...

Anita, Everyone's different, that's why we query widely and do our best to get a feel for the agents we send our work to. Some people simply want the book sold - they don't care about a "personal" relationship. Then there are those like me who want more than just a business relationship. I hope you find exactly what you're looking for. All I can say is, BBB is definitely the one for me!

DebraLSchubert said...

Angie, Thanks, honey - she's the perfect sponsor for me! I hope you have fun down in LA. Just make sure the beads cover your entire chest. [Hee hee, couldn't help myself!]

WendyCinNYC said...

Oh yay! I'm so glad you got to go!

Congratulations, young Padawan.

DebraLSchubert said...

Wendy, You're too funny! Yes, I made it. I hope she appreciates my pioneer 'tude. ;-)

Sharon Mayhew said...

What a wonderful voice you have! No wonder you have an AA! I'm so glad you shared your adventure with us. :)

DebraLSchubert said...

Sharon, Thank you so much, and I'm glad you enjoyed the post. ;-)

Stephanie Perkins said...

Oh lucky lucky happy you! I'm so glad you got to meet. IN PERSON. How exciting!!

(I've met my agent once before, and it was lovely, but it was *before* she was my agent.)

kanishk said...

I'm so happy you made it!!

Work from home India

Sybir St. John said...

I love your Monday posts :) Of course, it says a lot that I'm only getting to read in on THURSDAY. (So over this snow crap it isn't even funny.)

Sounds like it was a challenge, but a great lunch! Glad you were able to make it there AND make the vlog!

DebraLSchubert said...

Stephanie, Are you back from France? One of these days I'm going to Europe if it's the last thing I do! (Does that even make sense?) I'm so glad you got to go and see all the places your characters hang out - how cool that must be! Also, congrats on the pre-order! I plan on reading "Anna and the French Kiss" as soon as is humanly possible. ;-)

And, yes, meeting my agent was as awesomely awesome as it gets. ;-)

DebraLSchubert said...

Stacia, I can't wait to see you guys in April. Fun, fun, fun. ;-)

Sybir St. John said...

If you want to go to France, I'm game. I speak fluent French ;) And Nick's always willing to let me do THAT travel. I adore Paris.

We can hatch plans in April! Thank you so much for being awesome you! I need to put some of your music on pup's iPod. It would be perfect for him...just the kind of stuff he loves.

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