Monday, January 18, 2010

SUBLIMINAL MONDAY: All Aboard for Understatement City!

















I'm happy to report, SUBLIMINAL MONDAY is alive and well, taking the world by storm, leaving no prisoners, and is as tasty as a triple-scoop, hot fudge ice-cream sundae without the nasty calories. [Only my parents, husband, BFF, and annoying neighbor down the street read these silly SM posts]. 

This brings me to another important point: for the record, SM stands for SUBLIMINAL MONDAY. Please don't confuse it with S and M, which is another conversation entirely. [Not that I'd know, I swear, Mom.]

Problem is, SM's popularity makes me worry no one will read my blog on any other day of the week. [So what else is new?] It also makes me sad for the thousands of unpopular Monday blogs. I mean, who will talk to them in the halls before gym class, carry their books, or ask them to Prom? [YA novelists are delusional. They believe high school never ends.] Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled so many people are inspired by this secretive form of communication. It's just that it's a heck of a lot of pressure to keep up the funny week after week. [Keep up the funny? What the hell kind of jackass phrase is that? That is SO not funny.]

For this SM, I thought I'd give you a recap of my week. [This is when sane people click over  to Twitter or nap.]

MY NOVEL
As you know, I got my edits from Awesome Agent last week and am happily [tediously] working my way through my mss for the third time. I have to say, I freaking LOVE this book! [Conceit, especially unfounded, is so unattractive.] I'm hoping this revision will move me closer to submission, and that makes me so excited I could scream. [Terrifies me to the point I barely remember my afternoon chocolate.] I've got until the end of February to complete the work, which should be plenty of time to edit 240 pages. [And by "edit," I mean playing 4-Suit Spider Solitaire ad nauseum."]

NFL FOOTBALL
Did you watch the games this weekend? Weren't they exciting? [Snore.] Good luck to the Saints, Vikings, Colts, and Jets. If I tell you who I'm rooting for, I'll have to kill you. [Jets & Vikings] Although this week's games were a bit lopsided, next week's AFC and NFC championship games should be positively THRILLING! [Watching butter melt would be thrilling compared to this week's games.]

THE GOLDEN GLOBES [Code name for Mariah Carey's Enormous Breasts]
Hollywood stars think they're all that and a bag of Mrs. Field's chocolate chip cookies with their fame, endless amounts of money, and fairy-tale lives. Who in their right mind would want that kind of shallow, meaningless life? [Raises hand.] I am, however, glad that Sophia Loren (75), Helen Mirren (64) and Meryl Streep (60) showed up looking smoking hot, because let's face it: I'm not getting any younger. ["All aboard!" said the conductor, "For Understatement City."]

And "Avatar' winning best picture? WHAT a shocker! [Even Julia Roberts couldn't feign surprise.] Who'd expect James Cameron's work of art [expensive remake of every Disney movie ever made] would win over movies with original stories and great acting? [Everybody.] Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Avatar. Mind-blowing special effects, 3-D glasses, tall blue people, good vs evil [or, as James Cameron spins it, GOP vs Libs]; what's not to love? But, Best Picture? Feh! [Yeah, you heard me, feh!]

MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY
Martin Luther King, Jr. was and always will be a great American hero. His life was inspirational. He taught us to stand up for what we believe in and that peaceful change is possible. There will always be civil rights to fight for [gay marriage], and I'm grateful to have MLK to look to for inspiration. Let's each take a moment to thank him and those like him for being the change we wish to see in the world. And let's each take baby steps to become a little more heroic ourselves. Because I've been to the mountaintop...

And please don't forget to donate and keep the people of Haiti in your thoughts and prayers. [Donate what you can, send good wishes, and be compassionate to those in your life.]

NOTE: Sorry, all, but I've got a freaking spammer, so I've turned the word verification back on. I know it's an annoying pain in the arse, but nonetheless... Have a sparkly day!

51 comments:

Marisa Birns said...

*pushes that annoying neighbor over to the side and joins the parents, husband, and BFF here*

Once tried that 4-spider solitaire and got confused! Sad, really.

But enjoy your editing time because it will lead to wonderful things for you.

I join you in thinking that Avatar as Best Picture is feh! And, yes, the older women really rocked and showed the younger ones that you don't need to pump up the boobs and hang them out to get attention.

Put those away, Mariah. Not attractive.

Today is a day to remember the words, the sentiment, and the sacrifice.

injaynesworld said...

Good morning from rain-soaked California. Can you hear us whining all the way across the country? I enjoyed your SM and congrats on your almost-completed novel. I used to feel the same excitement when approaching the end of a TV script. Now I'm excited when I get through a new blog post.

Did you notice that Mariah's husband never got to say a word because her ego is bigger than her boobs.

DebraLSchubert said...

Marisa, "Put those away, Mariah. Not attractive." BWAHAHAHA! I honestly think she'd run around naked if she could. Thank God she can't.

And, yes, today is a day to remember sacrifice, commitment, and human rights. [Together we can make prejudice a horrible thing of the past.]

DebraLSchubert said...

Jayne, "her ego is bigger than her boobs." Man, that's one big-ass ego! Sorry about the rain. We had it here yesterday, but I kind of like it. I'm glad you liked the post. SM's are fun. [So is S&M, or so I've heard.]

Sybir St. John said...

As always, I love the SM posts [and have heard S&M is kinda fun too, but really, REALLY wouldn't know that one..]

Glad to see you're making progress on your edits! It's not a fun process until you see how much better the story is :)

And I knew there was a reason I was watching Dollhouse and not the celebrity stuffs. Hehe. She WOULD walk around naked if she could.

~S

mo.stoneskin said...

I'm glad the edits are going well and I hope, sincerely, that you don't forget any routine chocolate snacks.

WendyCinNYC said...

Julia Robert's necklace was just GORGEOUS (hideous) last night, wasn't it?

DebraLSchubert said...

S, Glad you like SM. [If you ever try S AND M, you'll have to report back.;-)] Editing can be a bitch, but it's well worth the trouble. I'm itching to write a new book, but I'll wait until my edits [Spider Solitaire games] are done.

DebraLSchubert said...

mo, Don't worry. I've got my priorities straight. Chocolate will always come first. [Just ask my thighs.]

DebraLSchubert said...

Wendy, It's interesting to see what some people consider tasteful. [Case in point, Mariah Carey.]

Julie said...

BFF present and accounted for. Glad your editing is going well and while editing, do remember my completely serious threat about the continued existence of that one character (you know the one!).

Love ya, and L.L.L. (Long Live L...)

Elspeth Antonelli said...

I watched the Golden Globes as well; which this year seemed to be doubly appropriate. My goodness; a richness of decolletage! I enjoyed Ricky Gervais. Any award show where liquor is served is always fun.

Elspeth

Kimberly Franklin said...

So I must be the annoying neighbor (who lives across the country) because I love, love, love S&M.

No, wait. That's wrong, isn't it?

Let me rephrase: I love, love, love [chocolate] SM mondays!

Off to class...opps I mean work!

Have a good one!

DebraLSchubert said...

Anonymous, Glad to help. [I think.]

DebraLSchubert said...

Julie aka BFF, Glad you're here. I couldn't do this w/o you. [Nor would I want to. ;-)]

Never fear, Lenore lives. [216 yr old characters in books are real, right?]

DebraLSchubert said...

Elspeth, Yup, lots of Golden Globes to ogle after this year, and not only in statue format. [Thanks, folks, I'll be here every Monday!] Ricky did a good job drinking, I mean hosting. ;-)

DebraLSchubert said...

Kimberly, Don't think I've forgotten about your chocolate offer. I'm afraid you may live to regret it. [Me wants chocolate.]

Joanne said...

Best wishes on the edit, very exciting for you! It's nice that you have a good block of time to really work through it. Enjoy!

Anonymous said...
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Kimberly Franklin said...

Chocolate...proudly serving writers [and their now gigantic butts because they sit around all day eating chocolate] everywhere!

Yum! : )

Karen Walker said...

Oh, I'm addicted to 4 suit spider solitaire. It's my only addiction (really, it is!).
Have I told you how much I love subliminal monday?
Karen

Sharla said...

Congrats on edits because that attaches to having an agent!! Awesomeness... And I was watching Dollhouse too... love that show. Much better than Mariah's tah tah's.

Elana Johnson said...

Love the pics! I really need to watch more TV, I think. I just didn't get swept into the Golden Globes.

:)

DebraLSchubert said...

Karen, Spider solitaire rocks! And, I'm so glad you love SM. [*smiling*]

DebraLSchubert said...

Sharla, I never heard of Dollhouse before these comments. I'll have to check it out. [Note to self: Google Dollhouse.] It's so nice to "see" you here, btw. How's life treating you? [I hope all is well in your world. ;-)]

DebraLSchubert said...

Elana, You never have to watch more TV. [Unless it's true crime & you're me - then you can't get enough!] The GG's were entertaining from a car-wreck point of view. No value to the onlooker, yet you can't look away.

DebraLSchubert said...

Joanne, I am blessed to have so much time to write. Thank goodness I never get side-tracked. [Bwahahaha!]

Jemi Fraser said...

Glad you're having such fun with your edits :)

I spent the entire morning on MLK day today - the kids knew a bit about him. Now they know a lot! It was a good day.

Carpenter said...

Being a married man...i know how to push my wife buttons. The sentence, "I think Mariah Carey looks really good tonight," will bring fierce looks and possible blows. I throw it in every once in a while to see if my wife still has the fire against Mariah. She does.

DebraLSchubert said...

Jemi, Good for you for teaching your kids about MLK. I'm sure there's a ton more I could learn about him. Do you have MLK day off in Canada?

DebraLSchubert said...

Carpenter, I'm thankful my husband thinks Mariah is beyond creepy. If he liked her type, I might have to do something very unladylike. [Pull a Lorena Bobbitt.] My advice? Don't push your wife's buttons - they're very likely the key to your happiness. [Survival.]

Sharon Mayhew said...

Good jo on reminding us to donate to Haiti. We donated yesterday and the company matched. :)

DebraLSchubert said...

Sharon, Good for you. I think it's amazing that, even with our economy in a downturn, we're able to dig deep when tragedy strikes. [Life is short. Let's help each other out.]

madisonwoods.wordpress.com said...

This is the first time I've visited your blog. It's by far one of the best I've read - your voice really comes through loud and clear, and you're so much fun! I'll be checking in more in the future :)

jmartinlibrary said...

Subliminal Mondays are, in fact, genius. [Why didn't I think of them first? Arghh.]

And the Golden Globes were indeed interesting [navel gazers, unite!].

I'd never seen Meryl [Monique's legs] look more lovely [hairy].

And Avatar [Dances with Wolves in Ferngully] was visually stunning [was a discarded YES album concept sketch.]

Good luck on those revisions [demon exorcisms]!

;)

Angela Corbett said...

Mariah's Golden Globes BWAHAHAHA!!! Sometimes I wonder how she doesn't just topple over from the boob weight alone.

DebraLSchubert said...

Madison, I'm so glad you found me! [See, Mom? You're not the only one reading.] I'm happy to have entertained you, and I look forward to getting to "know" you through the magic of the internet. [It's not really magic, but I prefer to think of it that way. Satisfies the little girl in me.]

DebraLSchubert said...

jmartin, I'm glad you think SM's are genius. [You're right, they are.] Feel free to join in the fun every Monday. [Lord knows I could use the help, and your discarded Yes album cover comment was brilliant!] ;-)

Indigo said...

I love checking in to find your enjoying what you love to do best, writing.

Here's to the editing process always being a fresh and wonderous experience toward the finish. (Hugs)Indigo

DebraLSchubert said...

Indigo, It's so wonderful to see you! Yes, I'm in the throes of editing - trying to make the story the best it can be, as if that's ever possible. I hope all is well in your world. [Hugs to you.]

Suzette Saxton said...

Laughing out loud. You crack me up! Wish we could go to coffee together.

DebraLSchubert said...

Suzette, If you're ever in the Philly area, look me up! The coffee [or in my case, chai tea] will be my treat!

Suzette Saxton said...

Oooo, yummy. Chai it is!

Voidwalker said...

My day shall be sparkly. I got my funnies from you. U is good at keeping up the funnies :P

Thanks though for entertaining me. I know it is your job and sole desire when you wake up in the morning ;)

Keep up the good work.

DebraLSchubert said...

VW, Glad you enjoyed the post and thanks for putting a smile on my face. I needed it. [Grinning back atcha ;-)]

Daisy Whitney said...

Holy Mariah Boobs!

And yay for edits...Can't wait to cheer you on when you're on sub any day now!

DebraLSchubert said...

Daisy, I know - aren't Mariah's tatas ginormous? [#plasticsurgeryfail] And, thanks. I'm hoping mid-spring-ish for submission. [chews fingernails]

writtenwyrdd said...

If your spammer is 'latvianlovedoll' she's been around the block a few times via other blogs.

Glad the novel is coming along nicely.

DebraLSchubert said...

WW, Hah! I don't think that was the one. I hate having to use word ver, it's annoying, but it does keep the weirdos at bay. [Too bad they don't have word ver in "real" life!]

prashant said...

Put those away, Mariah. Not attractive.

Work from home

Anonymous said...

hi all!nice world
best

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