Monday, June 22, 2009

There's a Girl I Know...

There's a girl I know who was beaten by her father. In fact, he spent yesterday - Father's Day - in a jail cell.

When she was younger, she cut herself. She also starved herself and made herself sick. When that didn't ease the pain, she turned to drugs.

She's a beautiful girl and the bruises on her forehead and the ones that look like fingers on her neck can't mask that. But they do make her just a little bit sadder.

I love her and want to help, but besides giving her safe shelter, there's only so much I can do. There's a hearing later this week if she decides to press charges. Doing that may put her well-being in jeopardy. She's a teenager and could end up going into foster care.

Her mom is a lovely woman; frail, beautiful, and deeply religious. Another victim of abuse. She doesn't want to lose her daughter and still loves her husband, so she's hoping charges aren't brought. But, she's torn. She wants her daughter to be safe and at the same time is aware her husband needs help. Alcohol is a big part of the problem, but he's not ready to admit that. And, of course, that's never the whole story...

Please keep this girl in your thoughts and prayers. Pray for her healing physically, psychically, and spiritually. She is so very special - full of life, light, and promise.

My deepest thanks and blessings to all. Namaste.

26 comments:

MeganRebekah said...

I spent two years as a child abuse investigator, so I've seen these situations first hand. I'll keep this family in my prayers.

FrankandMary said...

I've spoken with elderly people that do not want charges brought against their family members for abusing or neglecting them and they always say they love them and don't want them to be hurt. Sometimes public disclosure and legal charges are the only real sort of wake up call someone like that will ever get, except if the charges and disclosure don't come, and they "accidentally" kill the person.
The young lady will be in my thoughts.~Mary

writtenwyrdd said...

Poor kid. No action is going to make it all better, unfortunately.

Big Mark 243 said...

*sigh* All you can do is love and hope for the best. That is exactly what I will be doing, keeping them in my thoughts.

Lady Glamis said...

Debra, that is so, so, so sad. I will definitely keep her in my prayers.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Prayers coming (and also for the mom, that she can find the strength to do the hard thing).

Mollie said...

Prayers.

Kelly said...

Prayers to that sweet girl and her family.

DebraLSchubert said...

I'm reading all the comments carefully. I can't tell you all how much I appreciate the support. Blessing, D.

valbrussell said...

As you know Debbie, I've been there. You may also know what I'm going to say. She MUST press charges. She wont' go into foster care if she is taken to a domestic violence shelter in her area. She will be protected there. Alcohol has nothing to do with this. He is a mysoginist and her mother is enabling the abuse. This man needs to be in jail, the girl and her mother need psychological intervention immediately so they don't return to the abuse. Stats say women/children will return a total of nine times before they or she leave for good. If a stranger went up to this child or her mother on the street and beat her like that this would be told in a different way, but because this man is related it suddenly becomes more complex. It isn't. Abusers work that angle on their victims and the people supporting them but it's bull. You are a golden human being for helping her and tell her she can make it out of this alive and whole. Please tell her Debbie. hugs

Lynnette Labelle said...

That's soooo sad. I hope everything works out for that family.

Lynnette Labelle
http://lynnettelabelle.blogspot.com

WendyCinNYC said...

Oh, that's so sad. My thoughts are with that little girl.

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

what you are doing for this girl is something she will never forget..thoughts and prayers are with her and her family and also with you!!!

Anonymous said...

thanks so much everyone

Julie said...

To a very prayed-for anonymous,

Remember, there is no crime in loving yourself enough to protect your life. The crimes are his, not yours. You, like every other child, were put on this earth to do amazing things. Don't let him take you from all of us by thinking you have to protect him from the consequences of his actions.

Love yourself as much as your friends and loved ones love you.

I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Kasie West said...

My prayers go out to her and all victims of abuse. It's such a hard thing when love and abuse get mixed up together.

Julie said...

God love her. She is in my prayers.

eden tyler said...

I'm already having quite a horrible day, but this just takes the cake.

I so feel for this girl and woman, as it could very easily have been me and my daughter. Thankfully, I had the strength to leave when she was 8 mos old...
They will most definitely be in my thoughts and prayers.
It's such a difficult situation.
So easy for others to say, 'just leave.' Not so easy to do....

Thank you for sharing this, as horrible as it is.

DebraLSchubert said...

To Everyone: Again, my deep appreciation for your comments. Your words are special and she's reading them all.

Eden, Thanks so much for your comment. I'm sorry you're having a terrible day, but I'm glad you got out of your situation early. Whatever she decides, I want her to be happy and, most of all, safe. I'll keep you posted...

Sandra Leigh said...

valbrussell said it beautifully. I hope your young friend and her mother find the other, better life that awaits them on the other side of this difficult time.

eden tyler said...

Yes, do keep us posted.
It's people like you who are the greatest assets. I had a family to take me in and they are still in my life 4 yrs later. I will forever be grateful for them. You are doing a wonderful thing!

My day is already a little better. I've gotten into my character's head a bit and out of my own. I think I shall continue writing until I'm out of this funk.
=)

Midlife Jobhunter said...

We never know the hell so many live with on a daily basis. Will hope the best with this family.

Beth said...

I hope she will be safe, and that the entire family can get the help they need. Very sad.

DebraLSchubert said...

The parents seem to be in complete denial. It's not their fault, it's hers. It's hard to fathom.

Anonymous said...

Having survived abuse with one supportive parent who acted and the abuser who still denies what he did...let me just say that if the mother is enabling the problem, the child needs to be encouraged to press charges, to do what needs to be done. This will be hard, there might be blame from the parents adn guilt trips applied...but this little girl needs to know that she's safe. She deserves to be safe. And though it's horrible and sad and tough, she is entitled to be free of such maltreatment. Blessed be to you and she, Debra.

DebraLSchubert said...

Anon, Thanks so much for your comment. It's definitely harder when both parents are unwilling to accept responsibility and put the blame on the child. She "loves" them both, especially her mom, and doesn't understand that her mom's main goal should be to protect her. Period. It's so frustrating!!!! Again, thanks so much for your input.

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