Saturday, November 29, 2008

Channeling the Music of the Gods

Lacking Culinary DNA
OK, I'm a total failure. Instead of baking a chocolate cream pie for Thanksgiving, I brought a store-bought chocolate cake. I know, I know, I'm pathetic. I have to admit, though, my chocolate cake was a big hit. Even still, I felt like a total loser. I don't know what it is about the kitchen that scares me so. I would be so much better off if I could come to grips with the fact that I'm lacking culinary DNA and happily go through life canteen-free. But, every now and then the apron-clad devil on my shoulder whispers that I'm capable of working in the kitchen. You'd think by now I'd have learned to ignore this cruel and taunting voice. However, my motto in life has always been, "where there is life, there is hope." Clearly, I need a new motto. How about, "If you can't stand the heat, why is there a kitchen in the house?"

Right now, I'm sitting in our music studio listening to my husband, Chuck record my son, Ethan's, band. Their music is hard core metal. What I'd like to know is, when did screaming become an acceptable vocal method? John Lennon did some pretty awesome screaming back in his day, but it seemed to compliment the music as opposed to fight with it. I must be getting old, but I just don't get it. It's scary to hear my parents words coming out of my mouth. In high school, they'd hear me listening to Led Zeppelin and say, "How can you listen to that crap? Why is the lead singer screaming?" For the record, Robert Plant was not screaming, he was channeling the music of the gods.

My deepest sympathy goes out to all touched by the tragedy in India. What an indescribably horrible drag. I hope that there will come a day when senseless death and destruction will no longer be a part of the human story. Until then, please join me in praying for peace and healing to those who need it.

Shalom. Peace.


Joanne said...

Culinary advice - Master a few basic recipes and make them your specialty! Believe me (from experience) it works. We've heard the occasional rumor of LZ touring next year, have you heard this?

DebraLSchubert said...

Joanne, Great advice! Now, if I could just drag myself into the kitchen...

Yes, LZ is apparently touring, but without Robert Plant! In other words, it's not LZ. (John Bonham's son is sitting in on the drums and he is almost as amazing as his dad, but no RP? I don't think so!)

fudgelady said...

Who needs to cook? This is why God invented the Dutch Oven Bakery! :-)

(And if you bring chocolate cake, no one cares where the hell it came from!)

DebraLSchubert said...

Me and my lack of cooking skills couldn't agree more! The Dutch Oven Bakery, huh? I'll have to try is sometime!

Joanne said...

I thought of you today when I heard your favorites, Fleetwood Mac, announced March tour dates. Didn't know if you'd heard yet!

DebraLSchubert said...

Joanne, You're a gem! I hadn't heard the news, but now I'm all over it. We may have to mortgage our house in order to afford tickets, but priorities are priorities.

God Of Thunder said...

Screamers: The bane of my musical existence. I blame Fred Durst. Then again, I find myself blaming Fred Durst for a myriad of things. Global Warming? Fred Durst. Ingrown hair? Who else?

But I digress. Tell you what helps me get through Screamo: Something my kid told me a few years ago. And I kind of quote:

"Dad, do you have a clue how those guys you say 'sing with so much emotion' sound to me? Hideous!"

Those hideous sounding guys who sing with so much emotion? Plant, Young, Morrison, Dylan.

To me, listening to any of the above is like tuning into God's own i-pod (i-god?) but my kid, at the time, would rather listen to Enter Shikari and couldn't understand why Dylan sang through his nose or why Neil sings as though his testicles are in a vise.

Today, that kid realizes that without Neil, there is no Nirvana. Without Dylan, there is no rap, and without Morrison, there really is no reason to turn on the stereo much at all.

Young Ethan will come around. And if he doesn't?

That's right: Fred Freaking Durst.

DebraLSchubert said...

GOT - If you were any funnier, I'd have to kill you and steal your DNA. Now I know who to blame for my sagging breasts. Fred Freaking Durst!

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